I struggled with 'midlife crisis', until I realised it
was a midlife awakening.
Through my life, I faced three decades of traumatic events from birth to my 30s, culminating in a battle with depression and suicidal ideation in 2015
Then in 2016 I experienced a sudden thought of "this can never happen again" which hit me like a tonne of bricks.
Going to War with The Black Dog
It was July 2016 when the thought popped into my mind and I felt a surge of adrenaline, which sat me bolt upright.
And I reflected on the words... "THIS CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN".
It was like something deep inside was letting me know it was time to fight this horrible illness that had kept me prisoner.
So I declared war on the black dog. I went into battle. I fought the hardest fight I'd ever fought to date, and eventually won, when I took my last ever anti-depressant and never looked back.
Fortunately those days are long gone, but they changed how I viewed the world, how I saw people. I became far less judgemental, far more compassionate. Even my views on politics changed. Essentially, I woke up... what I thought was a midlife crisis was in fact a midlife awakening.
Why am I telling you this?
Some might roll their eyes while thinking "here we go, another hero's journey and ends up becoming a coach."
The thing is though, we can't beat direct experience.
We can have all the qualifications in the world (and I have a few of those too), but they're an addition to experience, not in replacement.
I know what its like to face struggles.
I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed, full of anxiety, rumination and overthinking.
To feel stuck, to get so caught up in the trap of busyness and urgency addiction that life passes by leaving us feeling empty and unfulfilled - which played a part in the cause of my depression.
I find it sad that so many live like automatons, just going through the motions, without stopping to smell the roses. And this can become prevalent amongst those in leadership positions, losing you your passion and purpose, forgetting your original 'why', because everyone's so busy chasing their arse, trying to keep up, and let's be honest - getting distracted by the latest shiny thing, especially on social media.
I know what it's like to feel destined for great things, and then self-sabotage like crazy as though some part of us desperately wants to destroy anything we want to create.
But the subsequent inner work I did to beat depression, and continued with for years after, woke me up to the incredible opportunity we have here, to be human... to live... to be life itself.
It woke me up to our incredible potential that sits dormant in so many of us; the virtually limitless possibility of who we can be, and how we can live life - a life of no regrets - once we start to break free from the scripting and conditioning, and adverse experiences, and traumas from our past.
Which is why I do what I do. I changed, and now it's my job to help YOU to change, when you know deep down that it's time.
My journey into becoming a Coach & Clinical Hypnotherapist
COACHING
I was first introduced to coaching in 2009 at work while on a management & leadership programme, and I fell in love with the process.
I loved how the use of language and deep questioning could bring out dormant wisdom from a person, and shine a light on blindspots.
And I knew that it was in my blood... it was my calling to do this professionally.
Then in 2017 I trained in further coaching methodology with a former company by the name of Achievement Specialists.
In 2021 I trained in men's work as a Modern Man Coach™, and enjoyed coaching men for three years, on many of the particular issues men face in an ever changing world.
In 2023 I upleveled again by training with The School of Trauma Informed Positive Psychology, as a Somatic Trauma Informed Coach, accredited by CPD & the ICF.
With my continual professional development being very important I never rest on my laurels, and as such I'm also training in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, and am doing a Post-Grad Level 7 Diploma in Trauma Informed Coaching & Leadership, via The School of Trauma Informed Positive Psychology, in association with the Chartered Management Institute.
HYPNOTHERAPY
In 2024 I trained with The Surrey College of Clinical Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy, obtaining an Advanced Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy (ADCH).
I also certified in a range of transformative techniques, including EMDRPlus*, EFT, Transformational Therapy, Time Line Therapy™, Solution Focussed Therapy, Positive Psychology, and NLP. These various modalities also include methods such as Gestalt Therapy, Parts Therapy, Pseudo-Regression Therapy, Inner Child work, and more.
*EMDRPlus: A multidisciplinary therapy combining bilateral stimulation with EFT, CBT, and NLP, making it an incredibly effective method of resolving past traumas, self-sabotage, negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, procrastination, anxiety, addictions, and many other issues which affect people.
As of 2025 I have now trained in Attachment-Focussed Bilateral Stimulation, which centres around resolving attachment wounds. These wounds formed during childhood are known to have adverse implications in how we relate to and with other people.
EFT: This is a therapeutic approach that combines elements of cognitive therapy with acupressure techniques; "Psychological acupuncture without the needles."
NLP: Neuro Linguistic Programming.
CBT: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
Other Ventures
I am a Trauma Informed Coach Consultant and Brand Partner at The Mental Wellbeing Company.
Which is around Trauma Informed Leadership training, psych education, and Positive Psychology in the workplace for organisations - both private and public, as well as training in Mental Health First Aid for the workplace - Trauma-Informed Mental Health First Aid Awareness, and Practitioner level, (all carrying CPD points). See paulhand.com for details.
Also on the horizon are VIP coaching days, and a specialist Trauma-Unlocking programme. More info to be released in due course.
Some personal stuff about me that may (or may not) interest you
I am a dad of two teenagers; my son Jack, and daughter Annabelle.
Both of my children are neurodivergent, so they keep me on my toes!
While also constantly surprising me with their quirky and often brilliant (funny) neurodiverse ways.
When I'm not dadding I tend to be either working, lifting heavy things and putting them down again (AKA Resistance training), doing some form of cardio, watching Chelsea FC (don't judge me!), Formula 1, karting, enjoying the 'great outdoors', the theatre, historical buildings, museums and galleries, or relaxing by a pool or at a Spa.
Or maybe enjoying a drink and a nice roast at a cosy pub with an open fire.
I am also a giant size nerd, and love to learn weird and wonderful things about the world, nature, and the universe, and I keep up to date with progress in the various 'brain sciences' such as neuroscience & psychology.